


(Hey Kid) Take The Stage And Deliver

by prouvairablehulk



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: M/M, minor/offscreen character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-25
Updated: 2017-05-25
Packaged: 2018-11-04 19:28:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10997448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prouvairablehulk/pseuds/prouvairablehulk
Summary: And how do you manage? / I dodge the blast and apologize for collateral damage(Len Snart is Batman. Whoops.)





	(Hey Kid) Take The Stage And Deliver

Lenny Snart never intended to become the monster under the bed of every criminal in Central City. It just sort of happened, if he’s being perfectly honest. You beat up one criminal (for criminal, read: eldest and inheriting Santini son) in a hoodie (for hoodie, read: blue sleeveless hoodie with white fur around the hood so he doesn’t know it’s you) so he’ll stop attempting to auction off your sister and then shut down his whole operation (for operation, read: illegal underground slave auction) because it’s gross and – whoops - suddenly you’re a crime-fighting vigilante. Len’s life would be so much easier if he had stayed a thief. 

He says as much to Mick, while they’re basking in the afterglow in the early hours of the morning. Mick, who is indeed still a thief, laughs. 

“No, it wouldn’t. Everyone in this town in crazy, now.”

“They wouldn’t be if I hadn’t started this. And besides, we’re not crazy.” Len retorts, a little indignant. 

Mick rolls over to face Len, not bothering to bring the sheet with him. 

“Lenny, you run around beating up and icing psychopaths in a blue furry hoodie and I steal things and leave literal brands burnt places as a calling card. Neither of us is completely sane.”

Len contemplates this for a little. Well, he contemplates Mick, who’s both very handsome and also naked first, but then he thinks about what Mick said. 

“I will admit I may not be entirely sane, but-“ Len starts, and then is interrupted. 

“DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!” someone yells, from outside the door. 

“Fuck.” says Len, under his breath. 

“Shall I escape out the window, then?” asks Mick. “I know you didn’t want them to find out about this.”

“It’s Jax. He already knows you’re here. Might as well face the music.”

“Dad, I know you’re probably still screwing your supervillian, but I need to talk to him.” 

Both Len and Mick shoot looks at the door.

“Me?” says Mick, a little incredulously. 

“Alright, that’s it, I’M COMING IN!” roars Len’s sister, Lisa. The door swings dramatically open, and Lisa sashays through, still in her Golden Glider costume.   
“We’ve got intel about Mister T.” she says, face serious. 

“Fuck.” says Len, and then he says “oh god, Mark.”

“Fuck.” says Mick, and then he says “oh god, Barry.”

Their history with Mister T is – complicated to say the least. For neatness’ sake, we’ll recap one side at a time. Len, you must understand, is Captain Cold, the terror of Central City’s underworld. Mick, on the other hand, is Heatwave, the leader of the gang of thieves known as the Central City Sirens. We’ll start with Len, shall we?

Once upon a time, Lisa had been the very first Goshawk, Captain Cold’s sidekick. She’d gotten bored of playing second fiddle with her usual alacrity and invented the Golden Glider to be her new alias, setting out on her own in nearby Coast City. Len had recruited Clyde Mardon to be his new Goshawk, only for disaster to strike. Len and Lisa had already fought Mister T several times, enough for Len to know he was dangerously insane. So naturally, he and Clyde waded in to fight him – and Mister T knocked Len out, grabbed Clyde, and tortured him before he killed him. Len – went off the rails for a bit. In the end, the only thing that kept his head above water was officially starting his enemies-with-benefits arrangement with Mick (by having multiple rounds of hate-sex in alleyways outside museums, initially), and the tenacity of Hartley Rathaway, rich-boy-next-door, who got Lisa back into the city and then proceeded to blackmail his way into becoming the third Goshawk with photos that would reveal Lisa and Len’s identities. Once upon a time, Len was a criminal too. He values that kind of ruthlessness, alright? 

Then Mark Mardon, Clyde’s brother, showed up on Len’s doorstep. He was angry about his brother’s death, sure, but more than that he wanted to know why Len had given up on his revenge quest against Mister T. Len hadn’t, and told him so. 

“We’re going to go about this another way.” he’d said, and Mark had grinned, slow like an oil slick, and asked what he should do. He became Weather Wizard, the principled crime boss who commanded the respect of the Keystone slums. And then, Jax arrived. Jax was – the unintended result of Len getting played by Talia al Ghul, and Len was going to kill her for turning a kid into a chess piece one day. Mick had taken it remarkably well that Len had a biological son, given that they were basically monogamous by that point. Jax had taken a little longer to adjust to the craziness of the family. Aside from Lisa and Mark and Hartley, there was Shawna, who went by Permafreeze and was a kickass medic as well as a kickass superhero; Wally – Waxwing – a natural-born leader from Keystone who organized a grassroots movement to defend the city from the psychopaths who wanted to have a turn at Len; and Iris – Bluebird – a policeman’s daughter who turned to vigilantism to try and save the people her father couldn’t. It was overwhelming for the poor kid, at first, right up until he and Len both realized that he’d been raised by the League of Assassins, and Hartley happily passed on the Goshawk mantle in favor of the Pied Piper alias he’d been creating. 

So naturally, everyone in Len’s mansion – which he and Lisa had inherited by means of a very slick con, along with a sizable fortune – fucking hates Mister T, because of Clyde. And that time he brainwashed Hartley. And the time he almost blew Lisa up. And that time he deliberately repeated the phrasing that had triggered Jax into a panic attack after he’d figured out what was happening. Also, naturally, why Len’s first thought upon hearing they had a lead had been for Mark. 

Once upon a time, Mick Rory had been a simple and very effective cat burglar. This fact surprised most people, given his physical size, but that was probably why he was never connected to any of his crimes. He’d had a life plan, you understand, that went like this: find Lenny Snart, work with him until we’re rich enough to retire and/or too old to steal. The Len had conned his way into the one percent, and Mick hadn’t really known what to do with himself. It took the appearance of Captain Cold to give him a purpose. Captain Cold was an ostentatious, melodramatic do-gooder. So Mick would be an ostentatious, melodramatic thief, to balance him out. He chose Heatwave as a moniker, and started branding the blank walls and empty podiums he left behind. And he started flirting with Captain Cold whenever he and Goshawk and Permafreeze showed up to stop him. And then he started looking for his own backup. He found them fairly quickly, in the form of Cisco Ramon, Reverb, a technopath with future-sight, and Barry Allen, The Scarlet Speedster, a former CSI-turned-bad guy who had run with Mister T for a while. 

Listen, Mick knows what abusive relationships can do to people. And what he helped Cisco and Barry out of? That was – bad. Cisco was okay, when it came down to it, because he’d been on his way out when Mick found him, but Barry? Mister T had driven Barry completely off the edge, and the man was a giggly, lost, confused mess. Mick and Cisco helped him, to the point where he was something close to his old self again, and he and Cisco had started up a much healthier relationship. At about the same time, Mister T killed Goshawk 2.0, and Mick started having very fulfilling hate-sex with Captain Cold, who turned out to be Lenny Snart, go figure. But whenever Mister T was around, Barry started teetering on that edge again. So, naturally, Mick and Cisco both hated Mister T with the passion of a thousand fiery suns. Also, naturally, why Mick’s first thought upon hearing they had a lead had been Barry. 

They both roll out of bed and reach for their costumes.

***  
“You want me to what, Bluebird?” says Police Commissioner Joe West, rubbing his hand across his forehead. The Snowflake Signal that the CCPD used to contact any member of Cold’s crew had been shining for about thirty seconds tops when Bluebird and Waxwing had appeared on the roof, faces hard. 

“Reverb and Heatwave are helping us get Mister T. You need to tell your men not to shoot at them or arrest them.” says Bluebird. Iris is way too used to talking to her father in costume to mess up a term of address or expect her name to answer to. 

“And why would they do that?” Joe asks. 

“The Scarlet Speedster.” says Waxwing. “Heatwave thinks of him as a little brother, and Reverb is his boyfriend.” Wally, on the other hand? Not so used to it. Not so used to having a Dad, either. 

“Mister T abused him. Scarlet, I mean.” Iris adds. 

“That makes sense.” says Joe, because it does. “Alright then.”

“Not alright then!” yelps Detective Oliver Queen, always the cynic. “Who knows what they could steal along the way!”

“They won’t.” say Iris and Wally, in unison. Joe is lucky Ollie’s standing behind him, because the fond grin on his face would be a dead giveaway to Iris and Wally’s identities. 

“And why not?” says Ollie.

“Heatwave’s not to keen on the idea of being in the doghouse.” says Wally, with an impish grin. Ollie’s shocked expression is priceless. 

“Can we stop speculating on Captain Cold’s sex life and get to the catching of criminals?” asks Goshawk, from his perch on the very edge of the roof. 

“Patience, Baby Bird.” says Iris. “We’ll get to that. Making nice with CCPD is important.”

Jax puffs up in indignation at the nickname, and Wally giggles. 

“Listen to Goshawk, this once.” says Joe. “Go. I’ll make sure the Sirens pass unimpeded, just this once.” 

“Thank you, Comissioner.” says Waxwing. 

“Just catch the bastard.” says Joe, and the three vigilantes are gone. 

***  
It’s three in the morning when they catch him, finally. There’s a nicely padded cell waiting for him in Iron Heights, complete with speed dampeners, and he’s been beaten to the point where it might take even his accelerated healing a while to put him back together. Heatwave and Reverb and Weather Wizard and Captain Cold were quite the formidable front. Reverb bursts into the CCPD and races to the holding cell that they’d stashed Scarlet in to make sure Mister T wouldn’t find him, bowling down CCPD officers who remembered back when Scarlet was Barry Allen left and right. 

“Reverb!” Scarlet calls, delighted. 

“You’re okay, baby.” says Reverb, soothing. “He can’t get you now.” 

“Thank you, honey.” says Scarlet, and flings himself into Reverb’s arms. 

“That’s – almost sweet.” says Julian Albert, the man who’d replaced Barry after his transformation.

“The fuck are you talking about, it’s fucking adorable.” says Captain Singh, grinning. “We like Reverb much better than the alternative.”

In an alley outside, Weather Wizard shakes Commissioner West’s hand, and asks how the new anti-gang measures are going, and Detective Queen is trying to figure out how to ask Pied Piper out for drinks. 

***

“All in all, a successful night, I think.” says Mick. They’re back where they started, in Len’s criminally large, criminally soft bed. This time, however, Len’s pressed against Mick by virtue of all of his kids being there too, and Mick’s got Cisco and Barry half-draped over top of him. Buffy the Vampire Slayer is running in the background, and Lisa and Shawna are intently debating shipping, with Cisco throwing in occasional suggestions. 

“It will be when you get Cisco to put back the diamond he stole from the Central City Museum.” 

Mick sighs, and shakes his head. 

“Oh, fuck.” says Jax, sitting up straight. “I forgot to feed ColdCow.”

He bolts out of the room at top speed.

“I’m sorry,” says Mick, “he forgot to do what?”

“Don’t ask.” says Len, and snuggles in a bit further.


End file.
